I am shocked!!

Sendou Aichi
[Cardfight Vangurad main character]

Sendou Aichi, seiyuu is Yonaga Tsubasa.
And guess is the seiyuu girl or boy?
When the first time I heard his voice in Cardfight Vanguard, I thought the seiyuu was girl. But alas, it was a boy seiyuu. It sound like a girl voice male character. No offened even my sis thought it is a girl when she saw the name.

I still thought that this character is cute. Well, he is very shy and sometimes very confidence. By the way, I like this anime even though it is more or less from Yu-Gi-Oh. But, this anime is more interesting.

What was I think about?

Well, I usually don't think that much just follow my instinct. Sometimes it would be wrong and sometimes it right. But. mostly I was careless about my action. I felt regret about that. Now, I don't know what I am writing actually. What I just think and writing it in this blog maybe it cure my boredom.

Never mind that. Let's describe about my friends. Well, sometimes I think they are my siblings but I not that always talk with them. Actually I am too quiet all the time and they are talking the topic that I don't know. I think I make too many distance with them because as my MUET teacher always say friends will leave you someday but not today.

When my teacher say that phase, I always thought about my friends and I. We are the prefect combination of that phase. Really, I wonder what to I think about but frankly I don't think about anything.

At Last!!

At last my presentation is finish today. I was a nervous wreck when I stood on the stage. I always stop and say wrong words. So embarrassing!! My teachers are in front of me too. Well, I don't have audience maybe three only.

Well I have to wait for the next semester to come and present three times. That will be scaring. I live in horror. =_=

Pains....

I wonder why they don't want to go out when I ask them. Some straightforward say no to me, I still can accept it but two of them always say very lazy lah or what lah. That are the excuse I dislike. Well, I know some of them are very busy with school work not like me.

Sometime I should tell them my frustration of their reject. But it is difficult to say especially I will cry after I say finish. Haiz....I hope I can faster learn driving then I can go out with opposed someone to bring me.

Haiz.......==

I am not excited about tomorrow party. I feel like it gonna same as before or even worst than before. I mean last time every party I feel everyone talk to their gangs and not as a group. Sometimes I feel disappointing with this action. But what can I say? I am an antisocial people. Even my friends find that I always very quiet. By the way, sometimes I feel awkward when I together with them. But, I overcome it easily, maybe not that easy.

Sometimes I wonder did they notice my behavior or no. Or they just don't care about it. Well, it is obvious that I not always together with them anymore and they also rarely invite me out. Are they the one that change or I am the one that change? Maybe I should ask other people.

Now, I am not looking forward to the party anymore. In fact, I feel depress when I think about it.

Troublesome works

Really sometimes I don't like to be a leader or an organizer. They never hear what I say and that make me frustrated every time. My friends always half agree when I ask her to go out together. Well, if she have said earlier maybe I can accept it. But after agree then disagree without reasonable excuse, I don't like it. I hate it actually. I wish I can drive car or have a license so that I can bring my friends. So, she cannot escape from not going out with us.

Sometime friendship is a friendshit.

Yeah~!!!

Tomorrow my friend gonna come back from Singapore. We can go out together and play together again~
I am so excited!!! XD

 I need my friends every day~

iYCC video~

On the end of November, I have gone to an activity called the iYCC [International Youth Cultural Conferences]. It had various people from various country. I have made friends with the others. It is fun and interesting. The last day we playing till early in the morning. We also play cards and watching TV together with my friends. I hope we can go out together again on the holidays.

Well this is the video that they recorded for three days.

~Unity - It's on our hands. [iYCC video]~

I'm sick again

Really the weather is fucking hot and cold everyday. It change and change suddenly. Besides that. it make me sick again. From CNY I also sick then a few days only, I sick again. Haiz.....the worst is I have to go to school. If not, I cannot sit my test. I even cannot do any revision.

I hate you sick!! I cannot do anything even drinking my Sandy!! Haiz......I wait for many days and this happen again. My body is very weak.

Now I waiting for until I sleepy since the medicine will make me dizzy.

~Fade Away~

When we walk together side by side
Even though we are close together
I can feel the distance that exist between us
So far and far away
I can't held it in my palm
But I can't feel it anymore

I am alone in the darkness
Feel so lonely and scared
My whole body is numb
My heart break in pieces
Like a broken glass
My tears fallen down my chin
Onto the ground

The rain fall down
As if it feel my sadness
I was crying
Shouting out of my hurtfulness
I am alone
Sitting on the wet ground
Without anyone to comfort me
So that I will harden my heart
And masked my feelings
All together
So that I will not hurt again

Pathetic Teacher

I have a teacher that is...how I going to say about her, let's just say she is insane. Well, more insane than I thought last year. This year she change her style to torture student. That is abuse!!! She threatened them for not letting the student to go back but can when you have finish the homework she given that period.

Well, last year many student did not like her a bit even a tiny bit. I don't say hate but dislike her. I think this year it almost a level to hate because she threaten the student to do their homework and test. Really when someone do not like a subject, they won't study hard for that particular subject. It is a miracle that she get into Form 6 teacher. I wonder how.

I mean she do not have the skill to make the student to pay attention to her. Besides that, she answer a question with a question. That teacher is so idiot. When student ask her a question, she ask back the student with a question again. By the way, she also out of topic of the question. Why is this person have qualification of teacher? I'm very curious about it.

I'm Feeling Down

Yesterday was my birthday but I don’t feel happy at all. Well, I expected this situation every year because I hate my birthday near Chinese New Year. Really I am sick so my mood is not that good.

The reason that I hate that yesterday because my friends always whispering to each other every time.  When they went to visiting, they sat together but they did not talked to me or anything. Well, I kinda hurt a lot. But, I can adapt that because they are my friends.

Besides that, they talking about the things that they don’t want anybody to hear. When I’m sitting next to them, they still talking on themselves. Really, am I an invisible people that you have to ignore me.

Many people said that they separated into groups but I think about it. We also doing the same things with them. Two people whispering to each other, other group was talking about somethings else. They don’t have the qualification to say someone.

I have long realize this. But, I don’t want to admit it. Every time  I saw them talking like this, I want to say in their faces and angry at them. Thinking about this make me depressed and sad. Well, the boys are always stay in one group. I think I shouldn’t complain that much but I cannot help it when I saw it every time.

My friend asked me why I’m very quiet. My heart wanted to shout out but I just shook my head and smile a fake one. I am a two-faced person. Outside I am energetic and smiling but inside I am sad and crying. I never felt so lonely. Really, what an eventful birthday. Why I still together with them that the answer I don’t know. Maybe they are still my friends even though they have their own faults. But, I don’t think I can stand on mentality.

Tomorrow is CNY

Haiz...I don't feel the excited of Chinese New Year celebration. In fact, I feel normal, well as normal as I can. Maybe I just looking forward to use my new clothes and going out with my friends. But recently I can't help the feeling of lonely. It is because my birthday is nearing and every year I'm feeling like that.

I don't know why but I feel sad whenever that day is nearing. Because every time is not happy as I expect and all of my friends is not feel at all. I really hope that this year will be different. Even though my relative come and celebrate together but it will be the same as eat together. I not really close to them too. So, in their eyes I am a shy and quiet person. Really I am more to naughty, playful and sadistic person.

I can't really blame them actually. So I really hope that that day I will have a lot of fun together with my friends. And I hope the surprise that Chai Ying said will success.

Going SHOPPING~

Today I'm going shopping with my friends for my CNY clothes at Boulevard. I can say that the price is expensive than normal clothes because it is branded.

I think they only can buy these types of clothes. But I kinda excited to going with them because we plan to visit together.

I can't wait for CNY coming. But after CNY I can't make the time to stop so that I can spend my holidays with my friends and families.

I think CNY this year is the most exciting year~

Just Complainig.....

Haiz....these days I always signing every minute every day. Well, my form 6 life is suck and very stressful. Just for a few months until May, I will have a big test again. Why do the government wanted to change the system? Many people said that we being guinea pig for them. I can't help that I'm slightly agree with them. =_=
We even have to do 5 project and test, test, test. =_=lll  Really being a student is more stressful than a teacher. Have to cope with many things when the system is changed. I thought of quit form 6 after I take my result for last year test but I don't want to leave my friends behind. We hardly seen every day if I quit form 6. Because they will be busy every day with homework and project. Don't say test again.
They still have some activity form school too. Some time I have to think about my future. I kinda lazy to wrk around and like to stay at home. Really this is just complaining the world. -_-
I hope somethings interesting will happen in the future anytime anywhere.