So tired

Now I am really regret to go work at there because it is too tiring and strict. Have to wear make up and many others rules that I hate. Sometimes I wish that is school so that I can no go to work. Kinda very tired when standing for hours to serve customers. That was the job but the shift is too tiring. I applied for part time lol....why one shift have full time? Illogical. The workers are okay. Some friendly, some are poker faces.

Haiz...why did I choose there again? I have to wait till April next year then I can resign the job. I hope the time is going fast so that I can take my results and relaxing at home. So tired~ ><

Realistic

I'm going to be more realistic because I almost 20 years old. I cannot lazy stay at home even though it is boring at home. But, sometime I don't like an adult...well more like young adult. Adult is boring to me. If I going to be alone, I'm not going to be relax. Hahaha~ I don't know what am I saying now. Not long I'm going to work and study university. Can I complain somethings?

Really, why every time the word come out from my dad mouth is money money money. Is money important? Yes, but money can't buy anything. I would like to say if you want more money then sell your daughter like that. Are all parent like that ask money from children because they take care of us from baby? It is illogical to me. Because money can't pay back the love that given to us.

My Teacher give us a present

My teacher have give present to all of my classmate including myself too. The bookmark is very pretty and everyone have different designs. The boys is most special because it had used pencil to design it. My teacher say that she ask someone to help her design these bookmarks. I am so happy to receive these present from my teacher. XD

This is mine.

These are all my classmate and mine.

Going out with friends

Boring day~

I don't know what I gonna write. I just pass by here because I saw that my blog is untouched for a long time....I think. So, I just post some boring things to say and then nothing.

Now, I have nothing to say. That's all.

School Dinner

Last night I was having fun with my classmate and schoolmate at Heliconia Banquet Restaurant. We ahving dinner at the restaurant and I have taken many photo of my friends and myself. But, one thing I was disappointed was the prom queen. Because the prom queen should be upper form six but not lower form six. The dinner is specially for upper form six because they going to be graduate this year.

Well, they still have next year to complete but we don't have anymore. I kinda disappoint in this. But, I cannot change it. What can I say? Nothing.

Forget these things. Yesterday I take photo till I very tired. When I went home and after I take a bath, I went straight to sleep. I'm so tired and my legs is painful. Maybe I should bite my high heels before I used it.

Sighing....

I really don't know what am I doing these holidays. I was wasting my time in front of my computer. It almost school day. Next week I am going to school and watch these teachers faces and homework. DAMN HOMEWORK!!!!

It seem I always ignore my homework everyday when I see it. Sometime I think I should change my ways but it seem my habits is worst than I thought. I going to finish it last minute. I am sure because it is my habit to finish things at last minute. Haiz......when holidays I wish I can go to school to see my friends but at school, I wish I can go home and sleep.

This is my life. What a boring and dangerous life.

Doing nothing

Really, what am I doing everyday? I expected to be out everyday and that will be exhausting. Sometime I prefer stay at home but sometime I would like to go out. I don't know what am I writing now. Really boring life......

Celebrate my friend's birthday~

Today is my friend birthday but she is still at Singapore until night then she aboard flight. 7.15pm like that she have reach airport then we celebrate birthday with her. Well, we expect her to be surprise but then she has guess we have plan when her brother phone her that afternoon. *sighing* Thought of want to surprise her, it is a failed attempt but I think she is happy and sad. Maybe one of my friend say it right because she expect many people to come and pick her. Well, I am happy though. We did not eat the cake but give it to my friend so that her family can eat it together. Our stomachs are still full of french fries and buggers at McDonald.

Holiday isn't like holiday

Injection day is over and it getting my nerve. Really I was shivering in the room when I wait for my turn. Blame the air conditional.

Well the main reason is this two weeks holidays are for nothing because my teachers put an extra class for us. So damn shit!! I wish I could skip the class but one of my teacher (the nagging goose) say if did not come for the class, have to see her and tell the reason. Well, if she is not elderly than me, I will straightforward tell her.

I don't like business marketing this subject. I rather fail my subject dude!! Who cares about that subject anywhere! It will not help the student if the language is not English. So stupid.

I prefer choose other subject maybe not math since I hear that subject very hard to pass with good result.

Tomorrow is Injection

Tomorrow is my last day of injection. Well, the third time is the most painful feel. I really can't imagine how I feel tomorrow. I wish I do not cry like a baby.

By the way, tomorrow is the last day of test!!!! XD YES!!! At last I'm HOLIDAY!!!

But I will be boring till death.

stress Stress STRESS

I am a walking dead body wondering along the streets.

So busy...so busy

Haiz.....I don't know this semester I will be sighing forever. So many homework and project to do. The teachers are chasing the time too. Besides that, November have MUET test too. I will be dead at the end of the year. I'll going to relax at home and play till I get bore.

Every morning I having headache. Is it worth my time and health? No fucking way. This things will going to cut my life till half. Damn it!!!

My Test Result

I have fucking FAIL my subject that is business marketing or in BM pengajiaan perniagaan. More or less the same meaning lah. I don't know I should repeat it or not because I am very sure that I will FAIL it again. Well, I don't think I will repeat the test even though teacher will nag all the way. XP You want stubborn, I'll be more stubborn.

This semester is so STRESS!!!

Haiz.....this semester so many assignment and homework to do. I can say that I put my homework aside but focus on my assignment. Because it is more important. Why the new modular system is so stressful than the terminal? Now, I feel a little regret to go Form 6.

But, I have to think about the collage syllabus. It will be more difficult than Form 6 and it have more assignment in a short period. The test also have to pay money. If fail, study again. >o<

This is life as my teacher always said.

Busy day~

Finally this is the last semester of Form 6 and then I can go play or working. I can do what I want! XD Maybe a bit limited if I find a job. Well, it's last semester so I have so many project and selected subject to study. And the weather is bloody hot. I feel as if I live in the volcano.

Disappointed

I cannot have high hope on my friends, any of them because it will crush my dreams. It make my chest hurt a lot. This is life but welcome to my life. Why our friendships become like a fragile thread that can break anytime. Sometimes I say this is how human live. If don't have hurt then don't have love.

I hope we can close our distance but that is just my dream and it will never realize.

Holiday is a boring day

I have two weeks holidays to spend at home doing nothing. I feel bore and restless. I love to go out with friends but they did not invite me or I did not invite them. Well, the problem is I don't have any driving license so I cannot freely went out by myself. I wish I can drive.

What can I say sitting at home doing nothing and my friend did not reply my message too. What a cruel people or they just ignore me. I just know I want to go out!!

Exams...

Next week I going to have STPM examinations. Well, at least I can relax and having my holidays after the tests. I have to think positive so that I will not nervous. I hope I won't having stomachache before the exam on Tuesday.

That's all I gonna say because I very bore sitting in front of my laptop. XD

Yummy~

Just now I buy Starbucks drink at Jalan Song. I buy a bigger size than last time. I don't know why I want to buy drink from there because I never thought of buy drinks from Starbucks. It is expensive than milk tea from Ding Tea or Chatime.

Wow drink this my tummy feel full.

Stupid thing

When this Wednesday, I use the ATM machine. Well, I first time use it so I don't know how to use it. And I just stand there like an idiot. I change ATM machine one by one because I don't know how to bank in. So, I just guess it then it correct. I think I gonna piss off this ATM machine because it always sound beep when you stand so long and did not do anything.

My Homemade Drink~

My homemade blended chocolate~ It taste like the drink I always buy at the shop. Well, the flavor is the same so of course its the same taste.

Well, I just boring and have nothing to do~ XD

First time~

This is the first time I buy myself a Starbucks drink. Well, I drank before with my friends but it was share with them so it did not count. Haha...XD I think that Starbucks drinks are still expensive for me. I still prefer Chatime or Ding Tea. Well, once a while is ok~ Maybe next time I buy again.

I am shocked!!

Sendou Aichi
[Cardfight Vangurad main character]

Sendou Aichi, seiyuu is Yonaga Tsubasa.
And guess is the seiyuu girl or boy?
When the first time I heard his voice in Cardfight Vanguard, I thought the seiyuu was girl. But alas, it was a boy seiyuu. It sound like a girl voice male character. No offened even my sis thought it is a girl when she saw the name.

I still thought that this character is cute. Well, he is very shy and sometimes very confidence. By the way, I like this anime even though it is more or less from Yu-Gi-Oh. But, this anime is more interesting.

What was I think about?

Well, I usually don't think that much just follow my instinct. Sometimes it would be wrong and sometimes it right. But. mostly I was careless about my action. I felt regret about that. Now, I don't know what I am writing actually. What I just think and writing it in this blog maybe it cure my boredom.

Never mind that. Let's describe about my friends. Well, sometimes I think they are my siblings but I not that always talk with them. Actually I am too quiet all the time and they are talking the topic that I don't know. I think I make too many distance with them because as my MUET teacher always say friends will leave you someday but not today.

When my teacher say that phase, I always thought about my friends and I. We are the prefect combination of that phase. Really, I wonder what to I think about but frankly I don't think about anything.

At Last!!

At last my presentation is finish today. I was a nervous wreck when I stood on the stage. I always stop and say wrong words. So embarrassing!! My teachers are in front of me too. Well, I don't have audience maybe three only.

Well I have to wait for the next semester to come and present three times. That will be scaring. I live in horror. =_=

Pains....

I wonder why they don't want to go out when I ask them. Some straightforward say no to me, I still can accept it but two of them always say very lazy lah or what lah. That are the excuse I dislike. Well, I know some of them are very busy with school work not like me.

Sometime I should tell them my frustration of their reject. But it is difficult to say especially I will cry after I say finish. Haiz....I hope I can faster learn driving then I can go out with opposed someone to bring me.

Haiz.......==

I am not excited about tomorrow party. I feel like it gonna same as before or even worst than before. I mean last time every party I feel everyone talk to their gangs and not as a group. Sometimes I feel disappointing with this action. But what can I say? I am an antisocial people. Even my friends find that I always very quiet. By the way, sometimes I feel awkward when I together with them. But, I overcome it easily, maybe not that easy.

Sometimes I wonder did they notice my behavior or no. Or they just don't care about it. Well, it is obvious that I not always together with them anymore and they also rarely invite me out. Are they the one that change or I am the one that change? Maybe I should ask other people.

Now, I am not looking forward to the party anymore. In fact, I feel depress when I think about it.

Troublesome works

Really sometimes I don't like to be a leader or an organizer. They never hear what I say and that make me frustrated every time. My friends always half agree when I ask her to go out together. Well, if she have said earlier maybe I can accept it. But after agree then disagree without reasonable excuse, I don't like it. I hate it actually. I wish I can drive car or have a license so that I can bring my friends. So, she cannot escape from not going out with us.

Sometime friendship is a friendshit.

Yeah~!!!

Tomorrow my friend gonna come back from Singapore. We can go out together and play together again~
I am so excited!!! XD

 I need my friends every day~

iYCC video~

On the end of November, I have gone to an activity called the iYCC [International Youth Cultural Conferences]. It had various people from various country. I have made friends with the others. It is fun and interesting. The last day we playing till early in the morning. We also play cards and watching TV together with my friends. I hope we can go out together again on the holidays.

Well this is the video that they recorded for three days.

~Unity - It's on our hands. [iYCC video]~

I'm sick again

Really the weather is fucking hot and cold everyday. It change and change suddenly. Besides that. it make me sick again. From CNY I also sick then a few days only, I sick again. Haiz.....the worst is I have to go to school. If not, I cannot sit my test. I even cannot do any revision.

I hate you sick!! I cannot do anything even drinking my Sandy!! Haiz......I wait for many days and this happen again. My body is very weak.

Now I waiting for until I sleepy since the medicine will make me dizzy.

~Fade Away~

When we walk together side by side
Even though we are close together
I can feel the distance that exist between us
So far and far away
I can't held it in my palm
But I can't feel it anymore

I am alone in the darkness
Feel so lonely and scared
My whole body is numb
My heart break in pieces
Like a broken glass
My tears fallen down my chin
Onto the ground

The rain fall down
As if it feel my sadness
I was crying
Shouting out of my hurtfulness
I am alone
Sitting on the wet ground
Without anyone to comfort me
So that I will harden my heart
And masked my feelings
All together
So that I will not hurt again

Pathetic Teacher

I have a teacher that is...how I going to say about her, let's just say she is insane. Well, more insane than I thought last year. This year she change her style to torture student. That is abuse!!! She threatened them for not letting the student to go back but can when you have finish the homework she given that period.

Well, last year many student did not like her a bit even a tiny bit. I don't say hate but dislike her. I think this year it almost a level to hate because she threaten the student to do their homework and test. Really when someone do not like a subject, they won't study hard for that particular subject. It is a miracle that she get into Form 6 teacher. I wonder how.

I mean she do not have the skill to make the student to pay attention to her. Besides that, she answer a question with a question. That teacher is so idiot. When student ask her a question, she ask back the student with a question again. By the way, she also out of topic of the question. Why is this person have qualification of teacher? I'm very curious about it.

I'm Feeling Down

Yesterday was my birthday but I don’t feel happy at all. Well, I expected this situation every year because I hate my birthday near Chinese New Year. Really I am sick so my mood is not that good.

The reason that I hate that yesterday because my friends always whispering to each other every time.  When they went to visiting, they sat together but they did not talked to me or anything. Well, I kinda hurt a lot. But, I can adapt that because they are my friends.

Besides that, they talking about the things that they don’t want anybody to hear. When I’m sitting next to them, they still talking on themselves. Really, am I an invisible people that you have to ignore me.

Many people said that they separated into groups but I think about it. We also doing the same things with them. Two people whispering to each other, other group was talking about somethings else. They don’t have the qualification to say someone.

I have long realize this. But, I don’t want to admit it. Every time  I saw them talking like this, I want to say in their faces and angry at them. Thinking about this make me depressed and sad. Well, the boys are always stay in one group. I think I shouldn’t complain that much but I cannot help it when I saw it every time.

My friend asked me why I’m very quiet. My heart wanted to shout out but I just shook my head and smile a fake one. I am a two-faced person. Outside I am energetic and smiling but inside I am sad and crying. I never felt so lonely. Really, what an eventful birthday. Why I still together with them that the answer I don’t know. Maybe they are still my friends even though they have their own faults. But, I don’t think I can stand on mentality.

Tomorrow is CNY

Haiz...I don't feel the excited of Chinese New Year celebration. In fact, I feel normal, well as normal as I can. Maybe I just looking forward to use my new clothes and going out with my friends. But recently I can't help the feeling of lonely. It is because my birthday is nearing and every year I'm feeling like that.

I don't know why but I feel sad whenever that day is nearing. Because every time is not happy as I expect and all of my friends is not feel at all. I really hope that this year will be different. Even though my relative come and celebrate together but it will be the same as eat together. I not really close to them too. So, in their eyes I am a shy and quiet person. Really I am more to naughty, playful and sadistic person.

I can't really blame them actually. So I really hope that that day I will have a lot of fun together with my friends. And I hope the surprise that Chai Ying said will success.

Going SHOPPING~

Today I'm going shopping with my friends for my CNY clothes at Boulevard. I can say that the price is expensive than normal clothes because it is branded.

I think they only can buy these types of clothes. But I kinda excited to going with them because we plan to visit together.

I can't wait for CNY coming. But after CNY I can't make the time to stop so that I can spend my holidays with my friends and families.

I think CNY this year is the most exciting year~

Just Complainig.....

Haiz....these days I always signing every minute every day. Well, my form 6 life is suck and very stressful. Just for a few months until May, I will have a big test again. Why do the government wanted to change the system? Many people said that we being guinea pig for them. I can't help that I'm slightly agree with them. =_=
We even have to do 5 project and test, test, test. =_=lll  Really being a student is more stressful than a teacher. Have to cope with many things when the system is changed. I thought of quit form 6 after I take my result for last year test but I don't want to leave my friends behind. We hardly seen every day if I quit form 6. Because they will be busy every day with homework and project. Don't say test again.
They still have some activity form school too. Some time I have to think about my future. I kinda lazy to wrk around and like to stay at home. Really this is just complaining the world. -_-
I hope somethings interesting will happen in the future anytime anywhere.